Monkey's diet...

Every time I turn around, my child is eating stray socks off the floor, chewing my slippers, licking the wheels of her stroller or playing with dust bunnies. 

This brings me to two conclusions: 

1) we have a filthy home 

2) my child is an animal.

Mother of the year?

My daughter ate half a business card when I wasn't looking. 

Where do I collect my "Mother of the Year" award?

Toys can be terrifying

I spend so much time (and way too much money) researching and buying toys I think would be really beneficial for the monkey.

In my quest, I sometimes come across bad toys. Scary toys. Toys that belong in a horror movie. Here are 3 of these toys...

Baby "I'm watching you. With just one eye."

 Baby "those suckers could puncture a hole in a tin can"

Baby "I'll haunt your dreams forever and ever."

This child is all over the place!

Just caught Monkey eating Kleenex. 

Yesterday she ignored her toys and wanted to play with the garbage instead (when she wasn't trying to chew on electrical cords that is...). 

Honly handful!

WANTED...

WANTED:

Monkey rattle toy by Alimrose (aka "lala")

Wanted on a thousand counts of making my child phenomenally happy.

Believed to have left the country as I can't find it for sale in Canada anymore.

Anyone who has knowledge of where I can purchase the exact same monkey (as an emergency backup) should immediately report it to my email address.

Reward: the knowledge that you have averted an absolute meltdown on the part of a 9 month old if something should happen to her original monkey and there is no backup.

Thank you for your cooperation.

This Diva...

This domestic diva made dinner ...and forgot it in the (turned off) oven overnight. 

She also did the laundry...but can't seem to rinse the powder detergent out of 50% of the clothes. 

She also did the grocery shopping...and forgot the key items. 

No wonder my husband wants me to go back to work :S